I normally write here when I have a lot on my mind and feel like spilling my thoughts on a physical keyboard.
I don't really write or post on how my day is nowadays because, well I simply just don't have the time, or I have just lost my mojo to write here.
Looking back, I have lost my mojo on a lot of things, not just writing here. Probably because I'm focused on more important things nowadays. As time passes by, priorities change.
There are alot of things that I don't do as often anymore, cafe hopping, dressing up, putting on make up.
Can't really catch up with the cafe hopping scene because there are just too many cafes these days, and not all are good. Also I've written about how disappointed I was with the photos on Instagram and how it's really like in real life. Half an hour for a nice photo and cold coffee? No thanks. Hehe in fact I've been making coffee using a Bialetti Moka pot gifted by Beanie every now and then, it's super good! Anyways, I'm a creature of habit, I always return to the same place for coffee, my favourite is RINSE's houjicha latte, and Three Little Birds at Desa Park.
Dressing up, well, I still try to do so once in a while, but I guess I don't buy clothes as often as before anymore, prefer to go for quality clothing rather than buying clothes you can wear for a few times nowadays. And I have been buying more clothes that are suitable for work. And my work wear is pretty much repetitive, despite my colleagues keep saying I have soooooo many clothes, it's untrue wtf.
I don't really put on make up nowadays because well, I prefer sleeping longer in bed over waking up earlier for work to put make up. Also, everyday after work, I'm rushing to the gym for classes! And I'm forever late (There was this one day I met my gym instructor at the registration counter at the gym and he went like, "YOU ARE SO LATE!") so there is no time to waste for make up removal wtf. So yep, I don't even really put on make up unless during weekends or unless there is an important event at work where I'll be meeting alot of people wtf. But........ I just bought more make up hehehehe that I have been lusting over for awhile. Made use of the Black Friday sale and got myself UD's Naked Heat palette and the eye primer.
I'm struggling to get back to my eating clean routine again, pretty much been nothing but a potato. Eating whatever I want. It is so hard to cut down on good food wtf. But I can vouch that I have been drinking way lesser than before this. Been cutting down on drinks because I feel damn tired the day after drinks and well...... I've been doing way too many stupid things after drinks.
The feeling is way too terrible when you cannot fit in your old clothes anymore, especially your old pants! Or when your tummy is sticking out when you wear a body con dress. And well I've been gaining some weight lately, it tells on the weighing scale. Though I've been telling myself it's muscle mass I guess I gotta get real and do more cardio and strength training because the other day I tried doing old blogilates videos (pilates using basic body weight) and I couldn't anymore. Gotta stop solely relying on body combat. But I love combat! I love the steps, I love how motivating and positive the instructor is, and I love how every single one of us in the class loves the class. I've been in combat class for a year and in this year itself I've been seeing the same people in combat class but I never mastered the courage to talk to anyone of them. *Shy*
Over the years, priorities change.
From the past till now, I've always been a family oriented person. Or I have always been brought up to be one. Like I finally understood why mom has been so hard on me in the past. It was for my own good. And when all else fails, there is no one left to back you up except your family, they will never leave you alone despite how fucked up of a situation you have put yourself into.
Each and everyday I hear more scary stories about my friends losing their family. It scares me alot that one day it may occur to me. And my parents aren't very young anymore. Dad's hair is getting grey.
I've been trying to spend more time with them lately. On weekends. Or maybe just going home early after work to eat dinner with them. And I have been sharing a lot with them about my life and the lives of people around me. My next thing I want to do is bring both my parents on a holiday, and hopefully they won't drive me crazy during that holiday. Because old people like to do different things as compared to us youngsters.
Work is well, work. Everyone else is leaving or has left to the neighbouring country with 3 times the currency. I on the other hand, kinda accepted the fact I am staying. I made plans on getting a new phone and a new car, will talk about more of this later, but yep, it's too late to go to the neighbouring country now when it's almost peak and I need to start over again, plus forgoing my bonus. I have said this time and time again, but in my working life in my current company so far, I've been lucky to meet people who are so willing to guide, and give me room to learn and improve myself, and another plus point is having colleagues that I can click and hang out with and keep me going wtf. If I were to move to the neighbouring country next year, it wouldn't be so beneficial for me as well...... So I guess I'm staying for a while now........... But well I don't really know, who knows, in my next post I might just tell you all about my move to another country....
Heh, I am really lucky to be working in such a good environment, though sometimes work can drive me nuts. Well, I've been always taught to look at the objective of doing things, and well I could always approach people around me if there was something I did not understand about. And so far, I've been learning new things and understanding what I've been doing. Though on some days, it can get real tough and challenging. After overcoming the challenge and looking back at it, it's like hey I did it! It was not as bad after all! What sort of challenge, juggling multiple jobs at a time, having way too many things due on the same day which results in me having to stay back late to complete everything. It's not so easy to 'just pass to someone else to do lah' because hey, there is something called being responsible and not everyone knows what is going on, or receive comments like 'quit your job lah'. There is nothing wrong with my job.
Heh, I'm quite glad that I have relatable friends to complain to regarding my job because they understand my pain. It's hard to complain to someone who works outside of this line, because here, we pick up things fast and we have to lead a team, within at least two years of experience. Meanwhile, other people who are outside this line is like, well, most likely bitching about their bosses and how they are being monitored. And when I tell them, maybe your boss is trying to make you see things in a different perspective, or "Have you ever asked why he is making you do that?" Then people get triggered LOLOL. Oops.
That explains why when others ask me how is work nowadays, I don't even bother explaining anymore.
Recently though, have been looking at the new iPhone and cars not because I want a new phone or car for the sake of wanting one, but I actually need one. My phone is dying and its pathetic 16GB storage space is annoying the shit out of me with the constant "out of memory" pop up message. And the car, well, anyone of my friends/colleagues who I picked up says the same shit about how worrying it is to drive a car like mine which acts as if it is going to breakdown any time and anywhere.
I didn't know the car was such a time consuming and expensive toy until my friend recently got a car. He was like telling me how he did so much research online, how he picked the right salesman up till how did he go apply for his car loan.
I have been isolating myself a lot lately. Well, in the sense that I don't share a lot about myself anymore, I'm cautious about who I go out with or share things with, and I don't really bother to make conversation with new people any more. So much that sometimes I just feel that I just can't communicate with anyone else any more, I don't know how. This scares me.
Why have I built this wall? I've been through too much.
What makes me feel happy and contented nowadays, if you really want to know, is a good workout at the gym, or just spending alone time drinking a cup of coffee at my favourite cafe, getting adequate sleep, spending time with a good bunch of friends and conversations about what we are doing with our lives these days.
Heh, gotta run, toodles!
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