Thursday, June 29, 2017

To Go with the Flo-w or Not?

Excuse me for the punny title, just had the inspiration to write on this platform.

It's been awhile since I've had the time to sit down and write, even on Dayre I haven't been writing as much. Most of my days start with work, workout, sleep, repeat, and on the weekends it would be sleep as much as I want and make time for the people I wanted to see and make time for.

Currently I'm on my annual 1 month break.

As you can see from my previous post, I just got back from Sydney. I will write about it more in the next few posts while I have the time.

I'm here to write about myself again. Sorry, you must be thinking what a 'self-entitled' person I am, most of the blog posts are about myself. But yeah, this is a place to document about my own personal experiences, and besides there is nothing much interesting going on in my life anyways.... Or that's what I think.

I have always wondered, why are we so afraid of doing what we want to do? Why are we so afraid of what others think of what we do? Do other people care if we were doing what we love or if we were happy? Am I doing life at 24 years old right? What more can I do at where I am today?

This has been going on and on in my head a lot.

There are a lot of onlookers who gave their opinion on how I'm living my life. I am trying very hard to psyche myself that their opinions don't matter, unless 10 of them tell you the same shit, then something may be wrong with you. Believe me I am trying to be less condescending about others too, and most importantly minding my own business, and keeping the comments about others to myself in my head wtf.

In their eyes, or what I have chosen to show to them, I look like someone who only works and works and works and complains. I guess I only use Twitter as a platform to vent out my upset feelings, and not write about the things that I am grateful, or feeling happy about. One thing to understand is when it comes to work, there is stress that comes with it and you have to express it somewhere. I have chosen an outlet where I do not complain as much in person, unless you are in the same line as me, then we would be complaining to each other about each other's work. Otherwise, no, I will not rant to you because you would find my complaints annoying. So I have turned to Twitter to vent my frustration. To an extent where a high school friend who, I am not close with, ringed me up to check if I was okay and that my life was miserable. Wow. Thank you very much for your kind words and concern. 

Not sure if it is right to talk about my career in such an open platform, I have always been generalizing it because well, it is not nice if your bosses happen to stumble upon your little blog and watch you bitch about work. But let us be fair, I haven't written anything bad about anyone and anything bad directly related to my work. Let's keep it professional wtf. (LOL)

Anyway, I have been in this line for 2 years and 4 months, and counting.

At the start of my career, I was probably questioning myself like why am I in this line? What am I doing with my life? I still question myself occasionally but I have come to a conclusion that I am still doing okay at where I am lately.

As per my previous posts, I have met all kinds of people in my workplace, ones who take advantage of you, ones who help you learn and grow, and ones who motivate you to be a better person. So I shall not talk about it from the people aspect.

In terms of work, I have to say that along the way, it is not very routine, you learn something new everyday as you progress. You are constantly given opportunities and also doing things you have never done before.

It may be more challenging on some days, and when you overcome it, there is a sense of satisfaction, or at least for me, there is. You will be like, "Oh, shit I complained damn a lot, but looking back at it, I see the bigger picture and it wasn't so hard after all, I did it, and I learnt something new!"

And the cycle repeats. Life.

Work becomes much much more easier if you question yourself, "Why am I doing this? Where are we trying to go from here? What do we intend to achieve at the end of the day?"

Or if you are stuck somewhere, you know you can always seek for help, guidance, or for comfort, from people around you, whether it's your colleagues or your bosses.

And then there is people who question like, why are you working so hard for when you can be your own boss, when are you going to resign?

Erm. Hello, why do you think I am still in the same job even after 2 years and 4 months. I still see a reason to stay. I am still learning and growing and I still see that sense of satisfaction in my job. I mean, its not too bad, steep learning curve for the first few months of the year, and other times of the year, you work, but not as hard. Which other job gives you the opportunity of letting you take a month off and still pays you? Well, mine does.

Just because you do not want to go on this career path, doesn't mean that I feel the same way about it. Maybe you didn't stay long enough to reap the benefits of this career, maybe I have seen the bigger picture of it. I still wake up each day and still see a reason to look forward to going to work.

A lot of my colleagues have been moving to Singapore.

Should I go to Singapore just because everyone is going to Singapore?

Should I go for the sake of the currency? Should I follow for the sake of my friends? Should I go for the comfort of wanting to live alone, uninterrupted, a space for myself? This has been going on in my mind for quite some time and it still is. Probably annoyed the crap out of the people I poured my thoughts to by talking about this numerous times. It isn't as easy as I thought it would be.

But what many people don't talk about often is, what comes with the three times currency. You may not be able to take as much leave as how easy it is in my current department, you may not be able to get promoted even you performed, because there will always be a quota for Malaysians, you get so lonely during weekends because well there is no where to go, no one to talk to, with three times the money, it means three times the workload. You are the senior and the junior in the team.

And also the thought of staying in Singapore, are you in it for short term or long term, do you really want to settle down in Singapore?

I am sure of there are the pros too, like how Singapore is an international hub and you probably will get a wider exposure dealing with international clients and multinational companies.

But I have come to put my foot down that it is okay to stay where I am now. My life in my current company is okay and I have a nice boss who takes care of his staff and still grows his staff. (If he leaves then maybe I shall reconsider my options wtf)

Also what is stopping me is do I really want to do audit in the next few years?

What do I want to do next?

Indeed, I have been talking about that a lot too, hopefully, I would find the courage to sign up for what I want to do next once I have settled getting my chartered accountancy. At least if I screw up in my future intended plans, I would have at least still have my chartered accountant status to fall back to.

If you have been a follower of my instagram or my blog, you would have known that I have loved visiting cafes. I have always envisioned myself to come up with one myself in the future, but I definitely know that it isn't an easy journey.

What makes a person want to revisit the cafe again and again and not just a one time consumer? Is it the food, the coffee, the service, or all three of it?

First of all there is the rental to think about, how are you going to earn enough to cover the rental cost? How to sustain the business to keep it running long term? Also what kind of concept do you want to do? How should you style your cafe. How much will renovation cost. Where to get all that money from? Do you want to specialize in desserts, or serve hot food? What type of food then? How are you going to come up with the menu and how much will it cost? What is your margin? Who is going to cook? Am I going to take a barista course so I know what beans to serve? What about the staff? Who is going to train the staff and how can you keep the quality in line?

Through a platform like instagram, I got in touch with an instagrammer with quite a reputable number of followers and met up to 'cafe hop'. I was really disappointed in how there is so much work behind an instagram photo, taking up to half an hour and by the time we could eat, the food was cold. I hated it. If you must know, I still eat my food warm, despite me taking shots for my instagram feed. I just take like less than 5 minutes to snap, then I eat my food. I am not too fussy with my photos I guess, I thought I was, but I discovered that there were more fussy people than me. Also in these day and age, such minimal shots are not actually minimal shots, some details in the photos are actually edited out to give it that clean vibe.

Sort of a reminder to tell me, I don't wanna be like them. Now I know why certain restaurants come up with a no photo policy in their restaurants wtf, because when the food gets cold, it isn't as yummy anymore.

However when out with this instagrammer, he talked so much about coffee, how 'balanced' it is, or what type of beans are used, what method of brewing the coffee, I totally felt like a retard. How to pursue this dream and how I call myself a person who loved visiting cafes when I didn't know any shit like that about coffee?

I have still so much to learn I guess, and I question myself, how passionate am I in this? Do I really want to pursue this cafe interest? Hmm.

Other than that, there are a few friends who told me that I could 'be my own boss'. Start a business. What harm is it to try when you are still young? I mean sure, hey, being your own boss sounds fun and looks nice, but it takes more hard work, time, effort and passion to start up something. Also you need to at least have some savings to start up something, which is what I am currently doing, as I don't have a convenient, big fat ATM called my parents. Don't get me wrong, my parents are still around, but I definitely do not want to start a business with their hard earned money.

Do you know how tough the journey is when you start up a business? You definitely can't call yourself a 'start-up' or an 'entrepreneur' if you never experienced the hardships of starting your own business. Hopefully the day comes soon when I find the courage to step out to start my own business, until then, wait and see.

Adulting is tough, it definitely is when you are trying hard to adapt to the adult world.

Life is no longer as carefree as you thought it was.

People around you talk about buying cars, houses, insurance, stocks, unit trust and all that shit you call financial planning. You wish to push it away, delay it as far as possible so that you won't have to put a chunk of your salary paying for all these things. Unfortunately for me and for you, I've learnt that the longer you delay these things, the more expensive it gets, and touch wood, you may not have enough money for your future if you do not invest in such things.

I guess it is time to take the initiative to learn about all these things and be responsible for it. Take your time to find a suitable person selling those kind of things because the person really wants the best for you, not because they just want to earn your commission. Talk to people about all these. Ask many questions until you are certain and comfortable of where you are putting your money and what are they doing with your money.

Also about savings, I have been talking about this with my group of friends a lot. How much of your salary goes to your savings? And it scares me that I have not been saving enough. I am very ashamed to tell the world that from my first month of work and today, after 2 years and 4 months, the savings each month is the same. You have to realize that your spending power increases when your salary increases, but you must also make sure that your savings increases too, which I am trying really hard to practice.

I recently have gotten my first credit card. It is definitely nothing to be proud of, just something to use if any emergency needs comes up.

I have certainly heard about a lot of credit card horror stories, in my circle of friends and also in my line of work. It is fun to swipe card and you thought that you have extra money to spend, but actually it is not extra money, it is just having money to roll around for the current month, but you still need to keep the aside that money to pay your credit card bills at the end of the month anyway. And many people forget that bit and continue to spend it off, and end up not being able to pay off their credit card bills.

I have gone through personal loan application forms and the reason for taking the personal loan was 'to pay off credit card bills'. A loan to pay off another loan.

That is scary.

And what is more scary is that the loan applicant was around my age. I start to question, how aware is our generation regarding financials?

Other than that I have been working on myself, going to the gym, watching Youtube videos, catching up on movies, listening to music, reading e-books, going to cafes and savouring the cup of coffee and thinking about where I am in life lately and walking around the mall aimlessly. I am definitely trying to pick up on where I have lost myself in this whole work routine (and get back to work feeling more motivated).

Anyway, this is all that I wish to share with you guys lately, to the ones who are still reading, thanks for sticking with me. Much love.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Travelling to Sydney Part 1

Since I'm at the airport waiting for my flight, might as well write about my trip to Sydney.

I went to Sydney alone from June 19 to 25th.

Actually I have been wanting to go solo travel for awhile now, but like any other girl I was worried about safety and cleanliness. I have had friends and female colleagues who have solo travelled and I did talk to them about my concerns. All they did was share their experiences, majority of them positive, and encouraged me to go ahead and go on my first solo trip!

One day, Justin, my unimate, was telling me about how cheap the Malaysia Airlines ticket was. I had 4 places on my mind actually. Osaka. Perth. Melbourne or Sydney. Checked on each route, for the period that falls on the first week of my leave and Sydney still had cheap tickets. So I went ahead and booked the flight tickets at RM1.6k and then told my mom, "Ma I'm going to Sydney, alone."

She was pissed, I'm not sure how she was able to bring up things of the past and emo me. But after awhile she did came to acceptance.

Then came to planning for the trip.

How did I plan for my Sydney trip?

Accommodation I compared between airbnb and googled for backpackers accommodation and read their reviews. As a girl, I wanted somewhere decent, clean and convenient, so a backpackers place like that usually costs a little more. I paid RM570 for 5 nights, a little on the high side. I'll talk more about this later.

Planning the trip was done by stalking what other people had done, I searched the place Sydney on Instagram, watched the stories and noted down the places that was interesting. I googled dayre Sydney, and read what other dayreans wrote and I did the same.

Also planned out my transport throughout the trip with Opal app and Transport Info NSW website.

I planned the trip way ahead and kinda forgotten about the excitement since I was busy with work.

As the date grew closer and closer I couldn't contain my excitement! I couldn't stop talking about it to everyone around me, but on the inside I was nervous too, as it really was my first time travelling alone.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Kopenhagen Coffee @ Vista Kiara, Mont Kiara

Hope everyone is having a cozy Wednesday afternoon, at least I know I am.

As I'm having time off now for a week, got a chance to explore another cafe on my to visit list. It has been awhile since having a write up just like this, and hopefully there are people still reading this. If you are, do let me know if you like it, and I should do more, and also let me know how I can improve.

I've heard a lot and also seen a lot about Kopenhagen Coffee on social media. This place seems very instaworthy as seen from the pictures tagged and no doubt, it is indeed instaworthy.

Though reading Foursquare and the reviews on the Facebook page may seem a little not convincing, I would suggest you guys to head there on a weekday afternoon. Perhaps then, you would not need to face any parking issues, service issues or any problem getting a table there.

Kopenhagen Coffee brands themselves as a minimalist Scandinavian cafe which serves coffee, tea, and Scandinavian confectionery.  

It is located on the first floor and you would have to climb up the stairs on the right side of the building to get there. Once you get in, you are greeted by the friendly barista at the barista counter. You would have to place an order at the counter and they will send the food and coffee to you after that.

As I was here on a weekday afternoon, it was not crowded at all which was nice to get some work done and also freely take my pictures without any other human in the background. I had no trouble in getting any parking as well and the staff were friendly. Another plus point of this place is there are multiple plug points and there is good wifi, which makes this cafe work-friendly. (Psst, now you know where to go to curi ayam


Flat White (RM11) - the cup is bigger than it looks, haha. Love the tableware so much and I think they pretty much use cups like this for all their coffee. It's very.... English. My cup of coffee was decent and I have no complaints about it.


Scrambled Eggs, Fresh Tomatoes, Spring Onions with Sourdough Bread (RM14) - Well, the staff told me that they ran out of sourdough bread so they gave me the choice of replacing it with croissant or bagel, and if you know how much I love croissant, I went with the croissant. The scrambled eggs were fluffly and some how the combination of onions and tomatoes went really well. Would say that the portion was pretty decent as well. Would come back to try this the next time with sourdough instead!


The barista area. Behind the barista area was the famed couch instagram spot but I couldn't get a picture as some other people were seated in that area.

To be honest, from the photos seen on the internet, I expected the cafe to be a little bigger though. Would not recommend you to head to this place on weekends as seats are pretty limited. (Maybe about 10 tables?)


Perhaps, the service charge and the GST is already included in the food and drinks amount but the bill came up to RM25 nett, which I feel that it is quite standard and affordable. Would definitely come back here again to try other things on their menu.


Last but not least, the parking area outside Kopenhagen Coffee. Parking is free. Apparently you are supposed to register with the guards but I guess during my visit it was raining quite heavily so there were no guards around to make a fuss.

To make your directions easier, Kopenhagen Coffee is located opposite Garden International School.

Kopenhagen Coffee
Vista Kiara, Jalan Kiara 3,
Mont Kiara, Kuala Lumpur,
Malaysia.

Opening Hours:
Monday to Friday - 7:00am - 7:00pm
Weekends - 9:00am - 7:00pm

Website: http://www.kopenhagencoffee.com/
Instagram: @kopenhagencoffee
Phone Number: 03-62116363

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Probably a weekend of self reflection where I re-read my Dayre posts from the start of my Dayre to this very day. I’ve updated a lot lesser these days compared to before this. I can’t really tell if I’m:
a) Contented with my everyday life right now.
b) Nothing interesting going on in my daily life.
c) More aware of my surroundings and not sharing too much over the internet.

 Maybe its d) all of the above.

I read back my past posts and I didn’t know that I could feel so much about a significant other. Back then was this whole puppy love thing where I spent every other day with this person to the extent where it was unhealthy. At that time, you can say I would drop everything I was doing for this person. I spent my time in college with this person, out of college with this person, and when we went to a separate university. It was really hard on me.

 The world revolved around this person and when he left, I didn’t know who I was anymore. I didn’t know what to do every day and I kind of did not have any friends because well, I did not focus on my friends at all when I was in this relationship. There were many nights which I couldn’t fall asleep. I spent those nights questioning my worth. What went wrong? Why are things falling apart? Where I constantly told myself, “It’s okay” even when it is not. I drove myself crazy telling myself, maybe it’s me.

 When he went away for studies, well, I guess we both have had more time for ourselves. I don’t know much about him because we don’t even text as often, or we only talked on the phone once every few days, for about 10 minutes? And the call would always end in the library, “I have to continue studying.”

I was sort of forced to move on with life, but I’m glad I have the company, particularly at that point in time, the tam jiaks I spent most of my days in university, and also the college bunch, both who never questioned much about the whole situation. It was always good to hang out with them and I felt like I was slowly doing better. I slowly realized, I was done waiting for that 1 phone call every week because it will always end up the same old, “I’m busy.” and in disappointment. There are more other things to look forward to in my everyday life.

I realized, there was more to life than just being obsessed with this one person. So much to see, so much to do, and there were many other people around me who cared more about me at that point in time.

What confirmed my feelings? Probably one of it was when he was back for spring break and I realized, I didn’t feel excited to see him. It felt just…. Meh….

But I did not have the guts to end things, so I decided to just screw it. Cut all connections.

Until the day when I was finally ready to face this problem. But when he came back to Malaysia when he was done with his studies, we met up. But we did not even talk about how things ended. We probably understood that it ended. Or at least he did. I was always hoping for that closure.

It took me awhile to come to a realization to what went wrong. I was probably so obsessed with the person that it was suffocating. This was what went wrong. I wouldn’t say that it was only this that went wrong, but there were other things that went wrong too and both parties were at fault. I got my own closure after all.

In a way I am thankful for everything that has happened. Things could have turned out so different today, but nevertheless, no regrets. It wouldn’t make me the person I am today. Years on later, I can say that, well I genuinely wish that this person is well.

 Wow, I didn’t know I could write so long about that. Been reading my posts and realizing on a lot of things, I guess. One of it is, I couldn’t seem to care less anymore. Not too sure whether this is a good thing or not, but I think it is. In the past, whenever someone makes plans, I would think to myself:

“If I don’t go, then would he/she think of me in a bad way? Will he/she be unhappy with me?”

“If I don’t go, will they have more fun without me?”

All these kind of negative thoughts. Right now, I just couldn’t care less any more. If I felt like showing up, I would. And if I didn’t, well I would just not show up. Probably explains why my social circle now is so small wtf.

Also with this, i realize that now, i have more say over myself. I take charge and decide what i want for myself nowadays, rather than just following the flow. I tend to voice up and stand up for myself if i don't agree on something. I don't try to please others anymore.

And well, I'm more of myself. I'm not a girly girl. There are people telling me like "oh girls should not drink. Girls should not curse. Girls should not club."

I gave this person a piece of my mind. But why do people have to jump to conclusions? Someone may go to a club or a bar to hook up, but someone may just go clubbing just to have fun with her bunch or friends or catch up at the bar. Why do people jump to conclusions that it is the first option? And besides, you shouldn't be telling me what i should or shouldnt do.

When I first came out to work, I told myself, I had to be optimistic, go and make more friends.

The first year of work was fun with the constant outings, but that also led to constant drama. Where were these people when shit happened? And then you question yourself, for all those nights you’ve spent hanging out with them, wasn’t there sort of a bond where well, these ‘friends’, actually care about you? Erm, unfortunately, not the case. Some people just want to know what’s going on in your life not because they care about you, I guess they just want to know because they want something to talk about.

There were good times, which I do, at times, wish to relive, but well… Shit happens. This is the cold hard real world. And I told myself, I had enough. I should draw a line. Work is work. People from work stays at work. (Except few who make the cut)

Or at least I have to be skeptical of everyone, because well, despite how much I hate to say this, everyone has intentions, and not everyone wants the best for you. Everything that happened has made me a very pessimistic and careful person.

Well, in terms of work, it is really hard when well, the effort you put in in work may not be the same as others. Some people may put in more effort, which makes you question yourself. “If he can do it, why can’t I?”

And these sort of people that put effort are the ones that you look up to at work.

But there are also people who don’t bother to put any effort to at work. What is your purpose at a job? Are you hired just to just to do nothing, or to just be a corporate slave and have a fat pay check in your bank account? I mean at the very least, you have to be in this job for a reason right? It would be meaningless to work just for the money, wasting away your hours doing something you hate, or doing nothing at all. And besides, there is no such thing as free lunch in this world, when your employer hires you, of course you have to give it back in some form, which is your work, and it is your responsibility to shoulder it. (Probably because of this sense of responsibility that’s why I work so late everyday wtf)

But ugh. Why can’t people put in more effort in their jobs?!?!

Other than the usual updates, I have been having the travel bug lately. I have been wanting to travel but cannot make an effort to plan because I have yet to get my passport done yet because my current one is expiring. Which I do not have the time to. Government offices should be open even on weekends wtf. What about the working people who have no time to go make passport during office hours?!!??!

Also. Money! I have been worrying alot about this lately. The transition to an adult is definitely a huge one. There is so much more bills to settle, allowance for parents, insurance. And to save up for car, house, and investing.

Besides that, i guess i have been spending time bettering myself. Being able to visit the gym on a more often basis again makes me  really happy! Happier than having to go to work wtf. One thing i hate about going to the gym though is removing my make up... Which probably explains why i don't really wear make up nowadays because lazy. LOL. Most of the time i will rush to the gym after work for classes and i would like to book a proper spot because once you are late, you don't have a proper spot in the class because of other after work crowd who are even more kiasu wtf.

I am getting lazier at dressing up. Should probably put more effort in doing so cause well.... Sort of a way to feel better about myself i guess. But i don't see any new nice clothes lately or either they are ridiculously priced. Actually I'm rather annoyed. Like you see a nice dress and then when you turn it around it has some ugly detailing at the back. It happens rather often nowadays.

Ok enough of ranting here, toodles for now, till the next time I feel like writing as much again.

Monday, January 30, 2017

I'm finding it hard to sleep at this hour.

It's the 2nd day of CNY and so much has happened so far, particularly today. Which left me wide awake on my bed at this hour replaying today's event again and again in my head.

Today I witnessed a death of a stranger, right in front of my eyes. It was definitely not about the CNY taboo, I don't really give a damn about that.

We were out for dinner with my paternal side of the family. We had 7 tables and only 5 tables were seated as at that time. We were waiting for 2 other tables when suddenly the ruckus started. Some woman at the next table started screaming her lungs out and my mom was like, "Doctor doctor!"as she remembered that my cousin's husband was a doctor. A man has collapsed on the floor, probably due to a heart attack.

He performed CPR on the guy and he did managed to wake up again, but the ambulance came a little too late..

It was agonizing to watch his wife and son by his side. Screaming at him, "Wake up, don't sleep anymore! Dad! Dad! WHERE IS THE AMBULANCE? WHY ARE THEY NOT HERE YET?"

I swear it was scarier to watch in real life and his son looks really young.

We didn't really had the mood to eat after that but decided to just go ahead with the dinner since we have 7 tables and it would be tough to make an impromptu decision to switch places. I can tell you though, I'm really affected. I sat there in a daze and Ah Di had to told me to snap out of it.

There are just too many things running in my head. What the family expected to be a normal CNY reunion dinner filled with happiness and warmth, became one where it was the last time they saw their son, husband or dad. Can you imagine how much pain the family must have felt? It really broke my heart there and then.

I guess you can say I'm affected by these kind of stuff, because well... One day you and I may lose our own parents too and I'm not sure how would I feel at that exact moment. It really scares me. But I certainly know that shrieking like a mad woman does not help with anything when we witnessed it earlier on.

My uncle told me, where new babies are created everyday, there is definitely going to be death everyday too. It is indeed up to fate.

Yes, there is. But I believe we can live much longer if we take precautions, especially those deaths linked to medical related conditions. Most of it is due to ignorance by the person themselves when they already have obvious day to day symptoms. The chance of surviving is definitely higher if you managed to find out why you feel so uncomfortable and get the necessary treatment.

Also at your deathbed, I guess you can really see who are the ones that are true to you. It is damn true. In the total span of the whole drama. The affected family came in two tables. But only the immediate family was there to cry and get worried about what is happening next. The rest of the people at the table left quite fast when this guy passed away. Perhaps they thought it was a taboo during CNY but really??????